The Elder Barr Blog

Thanks for the great response to last weeks email. I am excited for the future. I think that this last couple of months will fly by, and a whole new different phase of life will be here. Don’t worry - I love being a missionary and I don’t think I am too “trunkie", but the future looms nearer and nearer, so I am excited to grab it by the horns and go with it.

I will try to get the myuw stuff taken care of today. That will be good. Dad, thank you so much for getting the things taken care of. President Searle, I am sure, will be good about letting me take care of all of the college stuff that I need to do. I have a lot of respect for him. He is really soft spoken and doesn’t have the commanding presence of President Boren, but when he speaks it is well thought out, effective, and to the point. He is a good leader. I do miss President Boren though. His knowledge of the scriptures was such an inspration to me.

So, things are going well. However, I do have one thing that I have been in need of. It i$ $omewhat important, but I felt that I $hould a$k. Fund$ are really low. I should be okay for a few day$ but I will need $ome extra $$ by next week.

We have had a great week. We have had lots of good discussions with people. We haven’t been doing a lot of traditional finding (aka pick a street and tract it), but we have really been trying to be led by the Spirit in all of our planning, and it has really paid off.

This is a good story. We planned to drop in on this lady, a member, who is just starting to come back into activity, and had us help her quit smoking. She had been smoke-free for 1 week, and it was day 8. We got there, and she had a burning cigarette in her hand. She didn’t know we were coming, and I don’t think she knew how to react. But, we said hello, and congratulated her that she had made it as long as she did, and asked to have a lesson. Then she told her story. She had had a stressful day, and she wasn’t able to recover some documents she needed from a floppy disk, and she went to buy some cigarettes. She had just sat down to smoke the first one when we arrived. She hadn’t smoked it yet. We watched a video called “Spiritual crocodiles” with her, which showed how there are temptations everywhere and we need to be careful. She thanked us for “saving her life". It was great that we dropped by at that exact time.

Another time, we decided to go contacting at the mall. You can’t really contact there, but we decided just to try walking around for a few minutes and see if we were approached by someone. On the way there, we decided to check the train station. We got there, and there was a nice Jamaican lady there who was clearly under a lot of stress. She was there for her friend’s wedding, she didn’t know the town, and her friend wasn’t picking her up or answering her phone. She didn’t just want to sit at the train station, so we walked with her to the mall and were able to teach her on the way.

We have a great meeting tonight with a great couple. We are going to watch a video about the Salt Lake Temple with them.

So, things are going great. I really like this area…it is nice.

Mom, I’m glad that the new business idea is working well for you. Keep up the good work.

Andy, be careful on the longboard. A lot of people get hurt on those. Keep the helmet on. My companion has a bunch of friends who have hurt themselves on (or rather, flying off) of longboards. So, use a helmet, play it safe, and don’t show off.

I hope you all have a wonderful trip to Mexico. Please be careful and stick together. Especially you Andy. No wandering off alone. Pay attention to your surroundings, and make sure the rest of the family is safe. I know that you all will have a great time. Again, please be careful. I guess you are going to sunset so be sure to stay out of the ocean, as I heard that it isn’t safe there.

Alright, I need to get going. I love you very much. I hope that you have a wonderful and safe trip, and I am so excited for this week. I love you all and know that this Gospel is true.

Love, your son or brother,
Elder Stephen J. Barr

Thanks for the great email. I really appreciated it. First, I have something to ask Mom and Dad especially. I have been doing a lot of pondering and praying about my release date, and with school coming up and everything. I know that mission president’s have 30 day leeway in the release dates. I entered early Feb. I talked to President and he said that for school purposes, I could be released 30 days early, or in the beginning of January. So, if I did that I would be able to catch the winter quarter instead of the summer. That would eliminate a lot of idle time that I could have.

So, I would live at home until I can find a place closer to home, and a way to gather some money, if it wouldn’t be affordable for me to be just a full-time student. Anyway, maybe I would be able to make some money over second life or something like that. But anyway, the point is, I could be released on January 2nd, and then be in school for the winter quarter. I was thinking that that could be better, because some classes, like the chemistry track, may not be offered spring, and I would have to wait until the next fall in order to start. So, if I took winter, spring, and summer, it would be equivalent to fall, winter, spring, and I think I would be more “caught up” at that point. So, if you could give me your input, that would be great. But I really think it would be a good thing, although it would be a rough transition going from mission to school work in 48 hours. But, I think I can handle that. So, please check when the winter quarter starts, do the enrollment, and sign me up for the right classes. You might end up buying my books too. And I might have to go in a suit the first day, since I will have nothing else to wear. But, I’m sure we can figure something out. So, please lets get started on this ASAP. I need to tell the mission office so they can buy the ticket, and you need to decide if you want to come here to pick me up or if I should fly back alone, and then I could show you the mission during spring break. So, please lets get started on this and get it all in order. I really feel it is the right thing.

So, the work has been going really well. We are still doing a lot of finding, and also working with active, recent convert, and less active members. The ward is great, and very supportive. It is such a small town though. Most of the people are very nice to us, and it is easy to get to know a large amount of people pretty quickly.

Here’s something interesting. My 3rd companion, is engaged. He will be married in Sept. He went home 4 weeks ago. Another Elder who went home in May will also be married in Sept. I told Elder Peterson he will probably recieve an invitation from me while he is still on his mission.

We had a good zone conference yesterday. Presdient Searle is so different than President Boren. I miss President Boren’s confidence and love for the doctrine. President Searle knows the doctrine, but he doesn’t go deep. At lease, I think he is still getting a feel for things before he makes too many changes. But, I know he will continue to grow into his role as mission president. That must be such a burden, to have the care of missionaries, and all the things that come with it.

I’m glad all is going well at home. Things are great here. Hot, but great. Don’t worry. I have my water and my sunblock. Life is good here, but I am excited for the future. The family, school, work, family, etc.

I better get going. I love you all so much. Please let me know about UW winter quarter ASAP, so we can make sure everything is in order.

Love,
Elder Stephen J. Barr

Thanks for the letters. It was great to get some email. It is sooooo hot here. It is incredible. It feels like an oven outside. Our apartment isn’t so bad, but it isn’t cool either.

The work is going good. Pretty normal. We are finding a lot, and having a lot of success working with a good variety of different people. We street-contacted this guy named M___, and we were able to teach him and his wife B______, and they have been very nice to us, although they are devout Pentecostals. We also found a guy named S____, who is a Dominican guy, and he has a wife and 2 kids, and is a police officer in the South Bronx. Hopefully he will come to church this week.

So, on Friday we went up to Monticello as a district. The rest of the Elders did service, but we worked the area all day, myself and Elder Cornelio. Monticello is very different this time of year. I don’t think that there is anything like it. It is a town of 5000 people that increases to 21,000 in the summer, with the visitors being Hasidic Jews that come up from the city. These Jews are the hardcore ones. Full 1800’s style Polish attire, black Yarmulke’s, garments with those tassels, beards, cool hats, and everything. The women wore dresses that were very simple and modest, and many had their heads covered in some kind of wrap. Anyway, it was very fascinating/interesting. Every year they all come up to Monticello for a few months, and live in these bungalo colonies….fenced off areas with little houses on them. A lot of the signs were in Hebrew. We were there on Friday, so everyone was out and about doing errands before Shabbat started. As it got closer to the evening, the pace got faster and faster, especially at the bakeries. They all drive minivans, and they have lots of kids. There were a lot of Kosher bakeries and delis and even a pizzeria. They were all packed. We went to a food market around 5:30 and it was just bustling with Hasidic Jewish men running errands. We talked to the owner, who was a Jewish man himself. He said they most of them come up from the city for a few months for the fresh air and to enjoy the comraderie of fellow Hasidic Jews. A lot of them are jewlery exchangers, and I’m sure some are work financial jobs in lower Manhattan. So, it was a lot of fun being there for the day.

My companionship is going well. Elder Peterson is great, but still has a lot of learning to do. It is hard….just starting out on a mission. There are so many things to do and to learn that sometimes you can forget common sense. For instance, today some weird guy came to our door and said he was looking for someone, and Elder Peterson tried to teach him about the church. It was a little suspicious for my taste. I would have just closed the door. Anyway, we are getting a deadbolt lock put on , just in case.

So, how are things back home? Andy, it is good to hear that you did well by yourself, and that your job is going well. Please send me some more details when you have some time.

Dad, I am glad that England went well, and that you were able to go to all those good conferences. Thanks for working on my UW stuff. That is coming up so fast. So, if bioengineering or cs doesn’t work out, what do you think is the better option. Choose an easier major, or spend a year improving my GPA/doing chemistry and then apply to bio-eng or CS. Applied math doesn’t sound so bad. So, if you could study it out and then make the best choice for me, that would be great. I trust your judgement.

Oh, another funny thing. A recent convert just got a whole bunch of food-stamp money from the government that they owed her, because she is a single mother. She doesn’t need it, so she wants us to shop with it. What do you think? Is that ethical? We used it last week and this week, but I am still not 100% in agreement with the practice. [

We advised him not to use them – Jeff]

Another great thing happened. We met a great Jamaican guy, R__, than owns a menswear store here in town. He said he used to make suits for the Elders in Jamaica. Anyway, we went there to browse around the store a bit today, and then he called his favorite Jamaican restaurant, and told the owner let us come and order whatever we wanted, and he would pay. So, we had a great Jamaican lunch today.

Well, I still have a little bit of laundry to do. I love you all so much and thank you for all that you do for me.

Love, your son or brother,
Elder Stephen J. Barr

First, thank you so much for the package. The rice krispies were good. The pants and shirt fit great, and are very nice. I’ll start working on the milky-ways. Thanks for remembering my favorite chocolate bar.

Thanks for the great email. I really appreciate it. So, I’ve been in Middletown for a week now, and I already have some funny stories to tell. This place is …. well…I don’t know the word. But it sure is whatever it is.

So, my companion is Elder Peterson. He is good, and he is a hard worker, but he is pretty new to the mission. It turns out his trainer, Elder G., did a good job but there is some room for improvement. It will come. My roommates are Elder Cornelio ( my old Mexi-companion) and Elder Farmer, a great Texan guy. He is coming on the post-mission Peru trip.

So, we have this recent convert, K______. On Thursday, we had to clean her house. Her husband had left her, and I guess she got into depression, and forgot to clean for a few months, or a year, or two. Anyway, it was bad. I went over there not planning to get too dirty, but it was bad. I immediately tackled the fridge. As I got farther back, the food got older. There was some leftover spaghetti that had been there at least 6 months. It was green and hairy and white and moldy and disgusting. Anyway, a few bottles of 409 and some paper towels took care of most of the work. The kitchen was really greasy. Like if you took a fryer from KFC and just tossed it in there, that is what it would look like. There was food everywhere. One of the cabinets had a 1 gallon bottle of syrup that had tipped over and spilled, several weeks ago. In 90 degree heat, that attracts insects. Lots of them.

So, we put some work into cleaning up that house. The more important thing will be teaching this woman how to be clean. She has an 11 yo daughter, a 2 year old son, and a 4 year old son who doesn’t live there, due to custody issues. The house is paid for, and she has a food allowance given from her ex-father-in-law. As a result, she was able to sleep all day and just wake up to eat. So, the house was pretty gross. I am so glad that I was raised in a clean house by people who weren’t lazy.

I think I learned som e good lessons from that house and from watching her work with her kids.
1. Never buy a cat. They are disgusting animals. The go to the bathroom everywhere. Their dander creates all sorts of problems.
2. When a kid misbehaves and starts crying, don’t give it either food or toys. This will just create large, lazy people.
3. Don’t sleep more than you need to. This makes you lazy.
4. Don’t ever be overwhelmed by the size of a job. Take a minute to plan, and then get to work.
5. Welfare, and things like unto it, where people get things for free, is pure evil. It breeds laziness and a variety of other undesirable character traits.

Anyway, we went back on Tuesday to help clean the carpets. All 4 of us went. We ran at least 30 gallons of carpet cleaning solution through the machine. Each on was dark black. Disgusting. It is sad what depression and uncleanness and a lack of motivation to work will do to people. I think that the gospel will help open her mind and give her the energy she needs to get her life in order. She has made some improvements from what I understand. I think that over-all people sell themselves short. The human mind is capable of so much thinking, yet there are millions who just put themselves into a mindless menutia of wal-mart, myspace.com, “gangsta” clothes, and rap music. It is sad.

So, to describe Middletown. The ward is good. Almost opposite to the Westchester 1st ward…very economically average…nobody is filthy rich but there isn’t any downright poverty either. The ward is small, but close knit, and most people have know each other for quite a while. Most of the people in Middletown have lived in or near it for most of their lives. One cool thing, we are in “Orange County” and Orange County choppers is in our area. Next month we will try to visit sometime and send some pictures.

So, things are going really well over all. I can’t complain. The apartment is really nice. We are all really short on money right now, and our tap water is bad so we had to buy some bottled water. Anyway, if you could put some extra in the account, that would be really really really helpful. I would really appreciate it. This town isn’t too expensive, but Scarsdale really drained me. So, I could really use some money in my account as soon as possible. I know things are tight. I’m talking maybe $50-$100 for water and food expenses, and also I have some shirts that I need to get cleaned (the nordstrom ones I came out with).

Anyway, I better get going. I love you all so much. Thank you so much. Have a great week, whatever you all are up to.

Love,
Elder Stephen J. Barr