Dear Mom, Dad, and Family,
Thanks for the great email. I really appreciate them. This has been a pretty relaxing P-day. Nothing too exciting. I am on a split right now with Elder Bostwick, my roommate from Liberty Utah. He’s a great Elder, and is in the Spanish program. We did some of the food shopping for the apartment, laundry, some cleaning, and I have to pick up some stuff for the cleaners, and that is about it. I will try to get some hand written stuff out. I think I’ll be able to.
I swung by the office and I saw that the camera and that batteries had arrived. I didn’t have the time to open them, but I will soon. Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it.
So, things are going fairly well here. A lot of good experiences. I always feel like I learn so much for myself, and do so comparatively little for the people whom I serve. I am really getting a good deal out of this.
Elder Wall and I had a good lesson with R_____, who is currently our only investigator. He is a great guy, but currently unemployed and it is hard to get him motivated. We talked for a while before starting with the lesson. Whenever we first get started, he is always a little sad about himself. He messed up a long time ago, and in NY state, felony convictions never go away. So, what has happened to him a few times is he will get a job, and be working on the paperwork to get started when the conviction will pop up, and he’ll end up losing the deal. Anyway, that gets him down a lot, and he sometimes thinks that he has no options. So, we told him, “you could always move to Mexico and start a smoothie stand. That’s a good life". He chuckled about that. For the lesson, we talked about D+C 58, where it says “It is not meet that man be commanded in all things, and the same is an unwise and slothful servant, and such shall lose his reward.” And he says, “Great! Now I’m not only unemployed, but slothful and I have no reward.” At first he got defensive, but then realized that it was true, and that he had a laziness problem. For instance, he had some things to do that would help with his job, and he was just too lazy to do them. So, I told him to get up and do it…right that instant. And he did. He went to his laptop, hooked up the printer, and got started. It was nice to see that. Today we ran into him at the grocery store and while there he said he had found a break, and found a program that will fund $4000 in vocational training for him, so he may go do that. It was a good testimony builder for him of being “anxiously engaged.”
Let’s see. About learning from Westchester county, Scarsdale in particular. It is such an interesting place. We dropped in on a member, and their 16 y.o. son was there. He said, “don’t tract Scarsdale, you’ll be arrested.", which is probably true. There are so many lawyers here, and just the people are so aggressive. You can see it in the way they work, the way they drive, actions towards others, etc. Everyone wants to be insulated from everyone else.
Sometimes office work keeps us late at the office, and there is a group that we have termed the “Scarsdale Renegades". Just a bunch of H.S. kids who hang out in the back of an office parking lot, listening to loud music, dancing, probably using illegal substances, and so forth. It is pretty sad that these kids have nothing better to do on their weekends than to hang out in a parking lot. But, honestly there isn’t that much to do here. Everything revolves around Manhattan. Most people here don’t get home from work here till 7 or 8 o’clock.
That has been another thing that frustrates me here. A lot of people here, including members, work these crazy hours. In trying to set appointments (including with members), the wife will tell us that the husband leaves to work at 6:30am and doesn’t get back until after 10pm. The obvious question….WHEN DO YOU SEE YOUR KIDS???? In some houses, both parents work and the kids are raised by nannys.
It reminded me of a meeting I had during my short stay in the Newtown ward, where it was a 5th Sunday and he asked parents for suggestions on how to strengthen families. I said, “honestly, parents aren’t home anymore. Tract a rich neighborhood, and before 7 all you get are kids and nanny’s". ” Then, a 20 y.o. nanny in the ward said, “Yeah. I agree with Elder Barr. I’m a nanny. I’m with these kids 24/7. They NEVER see their parents. All communication goes through me. I’m 20 years old. I have no idea how to be a parent. But, I’m the one paid to do it.”
Anyway, it made me greatful for such great parents who have always been able to spend time with me. For example, all the hours working in the garage or the mini-chopper….most kids in Scarsdale don’t have that. I know that we are all really busy, be we as the Barr family always made it work. It had made me really reflect on some policies that I want to set, or rather carry on from our family, when I am a parent. Such things as always have a family dinner, even if it is late. I have a list going. I’ll have to send it to you.
Anyway, Elder Wall and I are going to focus on finding people with concerns about their families. We are going to do this by doing street-meetings, with slogans about the families, like “Do your kids call the nanny MOM?"… or…"The dangers of outsourcing…have you outsourced your parenting responsibilities?”
So, it has been a very good week, in terms of my future family. Still haven’t helped the Mid-Westchester area a whole lot yet. We are working and praying for it though.
Anyway, time is almost up. I love you all so much. Please take care. Also, Bianca, make sure to take Andy with you jogging. That would be a good precaution. It is really important that you do this.
I love you all so much. Please take care and be safe. Thank you for everything. We are a great family!
Love,
Elder Barr
