The Elder Barr Blog

Thanks for the email. This week was really good. We have been working hard and we have found a family of 4 that will hopefully get baptized by the end of the cycle. We have been also working with another family, the Mom, daughter and niece and sister have been sitting in on the discussions. As typical Bronx fashion, the “men” of the house are more difficult to get involved. He likes us and welcomes us into the house, but so far we haven’t really talked to him.

L*******’s husband, D****, is starting to come around a little bit. We teach the recent converts all the discussions again, but in more detail. We also watch a lot of church videos with them. D**** has been sitting in on the discussions. I am amazed that the head of the household can see his family join a new faith, have his kids all learn to pray for the first time, raise their standards, have all new groups of friends, and not have much to say about it. However, in time and with the gospel, I have faith that they will change. L******* and her daughter M**** went to the temple for the first time to do baptisms for the dead a few days ago, and she was just glowing after we visited her. It was nice to see the change in her life. I know that she and her children will be strong members for the rest of their lives.

A***, T***, and J**** are doing alright. A*** is in the 2nd trimester of her pregnancy. She kicked out R****, the person who was living with her, before she was baptized. However, in the last week he has moved back into the house and refuses to leave. He gets free food there, and since he has the keys to the apartment, he just comes and goes when he pleases. A*** is working on moving and also getting a restraining order against him. He has been coming by less and less, but he still thinks he is free to come and go. R**** makes me frustrated. He has 2 kids and 1 on the way, and the mother of his kids (A***), live on the Bishop’s storehouse/section 8 housing. And he plays video games and smokes cigarettes (for $6.50/pack) for many hours per day. Anna will be better off without him.

We found another guy this week, and were able to help him and his wife. His name is J***, and he and his wife are happily married. When we found him, he was 10 days away from moving to Florida. We offered to help with whatever he needed, and on Monday we loaded his rental truck. We were able to make good friends with him and his wife, and I’ll try to stay in contact with him. He should be in Florida by now.

[paragraph of personal stuff and advice omitted]

Alright, I need to go. I’ll write more in my letters. I hope you have a great week. I love you all. Have fun on your road trip Dad. Congrats on winning the award for AWS. That is really cool!

Take care.
Love,
Elder Stephen J. Barr

Thanks for the letters and emails. This week has been a great week. It turns out, I didn’t get transferred. 3rd cycle in a greenie area is somewhat rare, but it is fine by me. I am glad to have another 6 weeks with the recent converts, to make sure that we set them up for activity.

Well, I learned an important lesson about spending money, and also about what to do and not do for a ward activity. This week, the ward had a potluck and dessert auction to raise money for the girls to go to girls camp. The thing is, our ward is poor. Very poor. There are some people that are wealthy, and some that aren’t. With the auction, I think that some people may have wanted to prove publicly that they had disposable income, but they really didn’t.

It started fine, with most plates of cookies going for $10 - $12, reasonable amounts. Then, the Sister’s brought an investigator who was a chauffer in Manhattan, and had a lot of cash on him. Also, he loved auctions, and knew how to drive up prices without actually buying stuff. He did buy a $55 strawberry/ruhbarb pie, and that is when things turned weird. The next thing for auction was a simple chocolate cake. Not from scratch or anything…just box and frosting. Then, one of our members, N***, instantly bid $50, and started yelling, “I want that cake! Nobody else gets it!” She did it in a funny way, but I KNOW she doesn’t have that kind of money. We started her on a stop-smoking program, and she didn’t have enough money to buy some grapefruit juice. She does not have a spare $50. Anyway, it got bid up from there. Then, L******* started bidding, along with the Sister’s investigator. He didn’t want the cake, but he just wanted to bid it up. L******* was there with her whole family, including her non-working husband. She works as a home-attendant, making $9.50/hr * 25 hr/week. She and her husband and 4 children live in a tiny, dirty apartment, and depend on section 8 housing. She DOES NOT have $160 of disposable income. However, she ended up bidding and owning a $160 chocolate cake, along with $80 in other baked goods. I could not believe what was happening. It was nice they they were charitable, but it was with money they didn’t have. These people also have over $1000 in Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, and 307 (their kid counted for us) DVD’s, some of which she bought brand new for $29.99. This is a large reason for poverty, a complete lack of the knowledge of how to spend money. I’m so grateful that as a church we teach people about work and being debt free and everything. Elder Wood and I are trying to gently teach her that principle, without directly pointing out her errors. Anyway, the big lesson I learned is that I will never spend money on frivilous things. I won’t spend money on things I don’t need or are reasonable for me to want. It is sad that people can see their kids in rags, sleeping in essentially big closets, while they know they they have the 5 rarest Yu-Gi-Oh! cards in existence. I know the Gospel will change them.

So, that is the big story for the week. I’ll fill you in on all the little details. Today, we are going to do a bit of shopping. Also, a new-convert in the ward gave me a pressure-cooker pot as a gift, so I will be using that this week. He gave me some pork that he cooked in his pressure cooker, and I said I really liked it, so he bought me a brand new one for me to keep. It is really nice. His name is F*****, and he isn’t my investigator, he is Elder Hansen and Elder Volkanov’s, but I still know him really well. Anyway, if you could send some pressure-cooker recipies, that would be cool. I’m going to try cooking some pork in it today.

Alright, expect the mail same as usual. And my address will be the same for another cycle. Thanks for all that you do. I love you all so much. I know you are going to have a great time. That is a very ambitious road trip to pick up Bianca. I’m sure you’ll make it just fine, and it will be fun. Has Andy got his permit yet?

Alright, I need to go. See you later. I love you!
Love,
Elder Stephen J. Barr

Thank you so much for your letters. They are great. It is good to hear that you are doing well for the most part. I hope you are feeling better Dad. You need to drink lots of water. That is important.

Things are going great here. On Sunday, L*******, and all her children of baptismal age were baptized. President and Sister Boren came to the baptism. It was really nice. The ones I baptized, M**** (14) and C**** (15), kept kicking up their feet, and needed to be baptized 3 times each. It was still nice though. Their youngest, A******, 7, will be baptized in a few months. Her husband, D****, has also been “coming around". Rather than hiding in the back room, he joins us for the lessons soon. The Bishop and Sister C****** gave them some encouragement, and I think he will be baptized soon. It was nice. Their whole family went to family night on Monday @ Sister C******’s. A lot of people came, and it was packed.

Also on Sunday, Sister B**** asked me to bless her newborn baby, P*******. That was a really special experience. Her husband will be in Zambia for the next few months, while he is raising money to bring himself and the rest of the kids to the Bronx. So, I got to bless baby P*******. It was really cool. I love having opportunities to use the Priesthood. It is cool because you can never bless yourself, only others, but by so doing you get blessed, so you can only bless yourself by blessing others.

Yesterday night, we met with N***, an active member who is trying to quit smoking. We presented her our 15-step stop-smoking program that the mission has. We also bought her some cinnamon mouthwash and toothpaste, since she doesn’t have a lot of money, and those things are required by the program. After we presented the program, (the senior couple, Elder + Sister Dalton, were there with us), we gave her a blessing. Since it was health related, we used consecrated oil. I was able to anoint, and Elder Dalton sealed the anointing. It was cool. This week I have been able to do a large variety of Priesthood ordinances.

Before I forget, I will be calling at 9:30PM my time, so 6:30PM your time. I am really excited to hear from all of you. And thank you so much for everything. It will be great.

Transfers are on the 18th, and most likely I will be transferred. We will have to see. I don’t mind either way. We have some great people in the area and I love them and I love the ward. At the same time, there is a lot of poverty (in my particular area especially, there are some very nice parts of the Bronx), and it is frustrating to be around.

A*** and T*** are getting baptized this Sunday. R****, the guy she lives with, is moving out tomorrow. A*** said she prayed about marriage and it wasn’t good. It is nice to see her faith, but it is sad that the father of the children is moving out. Maybe it will be a reality check for him. He barely works, and he plays video games 8-10 hours/day, while A*** feeds the family through section 8 housing/food pantry. Welfare allows people to live like that. It is frustrating, but I know that those who truly embrace the Gospel can pull themselves out of poverty. What is comes down to is teaching and developing a sense of personal responsibility in people.

Alright, I need to go. Expect some letters same time. BTW…did Steve O**** get my letter? Have a great week. I love you all. I’m excited to talk to you Sunday.

Love,
Elder Stephen J. Barr